Done, done, done with writers that beat up on the families of the missing..........

My Yahoo alert set for "missing child" brought this up today from site called undoubtedly another site where anyone who signs up can write for them.


So I click on the alert and it brings me to this horrid article: "Where Is Lisa Irwin? Vigil Held but No Sign of Missing Child" written on February 20, 2012 10:45 AM EST by Chelsea Hoffman who it states has been a member on this site since January 18, 2011

So this is the comment I'm going to leave over on that site:

This writer obviously has never had anyone missing.  She brings up that a vigil was held for Baby Lisa Irwin (missing from Kansas City, MO) and states the following when talking about baby Lisa's parents:  "Were either of they present at this prayer vigil, or have they been merrily moving on with their lives?"

The author doesn't bring up that these vigils are organized by a self proclaimed untrained advocate who once stood in the Irwin's yard and waled over baby Lisa and screamed and yelled at baby Lisa's grandfather (all caught on news tape).  She is no longer allowed to hold the vigils on the Irwin's property.  Smart move on the Irwin's part I wouldn't want that group within miles of my family.  And, why would anyone expect baby Lisa's parents to show up at a vigil that they never gave their permission to be held in the first place? This same person puts together unprofessional searches for baby Lisa which appear to be prompted by psychic tips. How wrong is that to put novice searchers in possible harm's way and there is not even a legitimate tip?  

Even if baby Lisa's parents had given permission for anyone to hold a vigil or a search if they were to show up it would cause a media circus. What good would that do the case?  All it would do is give the public and media something to gossip about.  This bizarre sense of entitlement everyone has for cases like this is very disturbing.  Media and public get a clue!  These are not your loved ones that are missing and you are not entitled to every aspect of the case.  And, yes the families have to turn to the media and the public to get the word out but that does not mean the media and the public are entitled to rip the families apart.  Media, public, writers remember this could easily happen to one of your loved ones .... do all you can to help the current families of the missing in a positive way because your turn may come.

But the kicker for this article for me is when this author asks "...or have they been merrily moving on with their lives?"  "Merrily moving on with their lives..."   Guess what "author" yes the families do go on with their lives....shocker huh?  They have to go on with their lives because if they let the nightmare, the hell engulf them they will never ever be able to effectively search for their missing loved one.  They have to balance hell and earth so they can function for their other loved ones.  The families have to learn to allow themselves to laugh and find joy, shocker huh?...they laugh and live.  Life is never the same again when you have or have had a loved one missing.  But, yes at times it can be merry but there isn't a second that goes by that your missing loved one isn't on your mind...not a second.

I have no idea who is guilty and who is not guilty as to the cause of what happened to any of our 100,000 missing cases in the US let alone what happened to baby Lisa.  That is why it is called the " hell of not knowing."  If anyone thinks they know what happened to any of our missing who are missing without a trace then they wouldn't be missing now would they? Until a judge and jury find someone guilty as to causing the disappearance or murder of a missing person I stand solidly behind the families, thus is why I'm an advocate for the families of the missing.

Tags: baby-lisa, stop-beating-up-on-the-families-of-the-missing

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Well imagine that my comment over on the site was deleted.  The author is talking about bots....guess she thought I was a bot?  Insane and totally unprofessional.  She had a chance to defend herself but instead chose not to.  Hopefully I struck a chord with her but probably not.  Sensationalism in journalism instead of the truth......I think very lowly of writers like that.

that's excellent. well-written.  My only pet peeve is the very end, where you  use the word "thus" -- it doesn't fit the way it's written.

It's true that families have to get on with their lives.  A shepherd who loses a sheep must tend the rest of the flock.  My 3 kids and hubby need me present, and they know when I get lost in searching for Judy.  I go in spurts - if it was 24/7 no one would change the diapers, make the food, pick up and drop off the kids where they need to be.

My parents handled it differently with Judy. It was never discussed.  No part of it.  It ate away at all of us.  Our family bond, in my opinion, was destroyed as a result.  It makes me suspect them of knowing something they're not sharing.

I have feelings in the Baby Lisa case but I'd never write an article claiming to be some sort of expert in the matter.  Or judging their actions and drawing conclusions.  

Maureen, you must have just discovered her writings as she can be far more judgmental on families of missing.  Sometimes I wonder if those on the Gather sites get paid "per click" on their articles as it seems that "anything goes" within articles and headlines. Sad. Very sad.

I probably wouldn't have even bothered about this but I saw at the bottom of this article the following:

"Chelsea Hoffman is a prolific crime writer and fiction author with several works published. Her writing has been recognized by such entities as NBC Dateline and several others." 

Since she writes for more mainstreamed entities I felt her bad behavior shouldn't go unchecked. 

I just wrote this: (it will probably be removed)

this is an irresponsible article. no, I'm not a spam bot. I'm the sister of someone who has been missing 31 years. That's a long time. Know what? In that time these events have taken place: graduated high school, lost virginity, graduated college, went to a bunch of proms, had heart broken, had first speeding ticket, crashed car, got married, had 3 kids, had 4 grandparents die, had lots of nieces and nephews born, went to lots of weddings and funerals, moved several times in several states.

the woman who organized the vigil - same one who has caused trouble before? I'm sure I wouldn't have gone if it was my sister! 

They're getting on with their lives? Whether they did something or not - for the sake of their other children - they HAVE to!

I'm not defending the parents. I'm defending families of the missing. The other post - the one you claim was a spam bot - was from an incredibly compassionate advocate - who has helped thousands of families - on their journeys with missing family members and loved ones. 

Your article pretends to be journalism but I guarantee you (readers) I've dealt with many professional journalists. This is not one of them.

*shock* my comment was also removed.  I think the best thing for us to do is flag the content.

Good idea.

This post has been flagged by the community (Harassment, Other). 

she's an idiot. 

How hard is it to have compassion?  Why would someone choose the opposite of compassion?  I just don't get it and God willing I never will.

This is horrible that anyone can go and post whatever they want about anything they want. I hate when people get on Topix sites to gossip. And we wonder why there have been murders over facebook and other wreckless sites. This happened not far from where I live so that touches closer to home. This poor family and that poor child. How can people be so ignorant and careless? God forbid this woman ever has a loved one go missing. There are a lot of child abductions around this area. The only word that can describe a person who would take it upon themselves to be in the spotlight on a matter that doesn't even concern them....I can't even say....

There was a  teenage girl here where I live that went out with some friends that were drinking (she was 16) and  got killed because she was thrown from the vehicle and the ambulance workers couldn't find her (this is out in the country at night) everyone got on the local newspaper website to bash her parents (which are good christian people nd had no idea their daughter was out drinking)so I wrote a letter to the editor to complain that the line has been crossed and it's embarrassing not only for our paper to have it right on their site but that they let it go on as long as they did....It was down the day after I wrote the letter. Her parents were not only suprised by the fact that this was what their daughter was out doing but they were devastated and no parent deserves to be put through the wringer in a situation like that.

elsea Hoffman Feb 21, 2012, 11:15am EST
Also, you should know there are reasons for this:

For one, all the others who have subscribed to the comment alerts on this, probably don't want to skim through all of the complaining about commentary (not facts in the case mind you, but things that weren't relevant to my commentary, and my commentary in general) 

That is why you should HAVE RESPECT for the OTHER READERS who have SUBSCRIBED to this. If you have a personal issue with me, contact me privately and quit disrespecting every other reader of this piece. Hence the guideline "KEEP IT ON TOPIC" 

Your problem with me isn't the topic (in case that actually bore repeating)

missinformed people Feb 21, 2012, 11:22am EST
HAVE RESPECT for the OTHER READERS really? Interesting. Because you don't seem to have respect for anyone but yourself or people who agree with your POV. You can't demand respect. You can earn it. This article doesn't earn it. It's disrespectful of every family who has a missing person. Go ahead. Delete this comment too - because it doesn't agree with your POV - not facts - but your POV.



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