I noticed it first in myself and now am seeing it in some of the other families of the missing .... a feeling of being down or very contemplative going into this 4th of July weekend.

 

For me I know it was because for 24 years this was almost always the weekend we began our summer vacation.  After the 4th with my whole family we would set out on the 5th on our vacation ... usually to Lake of the Ozarks.  I was so use to for decades being so busy getting ready for this holiday and our vacation and now there is just emptiness.  I look around for that hustle and bustle and can't find it.  And living in this answer with no answer is its own form of hell. ..... so I'll go cut the grass and have a beer and somehow make it through this weekend.

 

So everyone share....how are you doing this 4th of July?

 

 

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I will go buy fireworks and we will sit in our lawnchairs with the neighbors and make lots of pretty lights.  We can also see the fireworks in the areas around us.  This is probably Jesse's favorite holiday.  Noise, potential for blowing things up, general pandamonium.   Yep a tribute to Jesse.
Like I said, come on down.
Or up (ie. by me ;)

Jesse would love my familiy's 4th.  My brother-in-laws and my nephew have gone through the college for fireworks and the display they put on rivals any professional display out there.  That portion of my 4th will always stay the same. But Jon was always right in the mix of the fireworks gang, in fact he would have gone off to the college with them.  It's hard for me to reconcile in my mind the love and comraderie that existed between all the guys with the knowledge that Jon is not a part of it now .... it's tough.  And, when you are talking 24 years of the 4th signalling the start of vacation and that is no more just makes it even tougher.

 

But I wouldn't have brought this up if  I hadn't seen a few other families that are really struggling today and that is why I opened this conversation up.

 

------And Don you got margaritas out at your house?  Our boil order means the bars can't serve ice so no margartia for me .... maybe that is what has me depressed!  LOL

 

I'm with you Maureen! 

 

EVERYONE - please have a happy, safe Independence Day and make new memories!  I love you all XOXOXOXXOO

 

:) ......   working on those new memories.

Somehow with each holiday we fumble through when there has been a drastic change in family life due to the loss or diappearance of a loved one. We have fond memories of past years but yet the emptiness seems to always be present.
Billy was always the life of the party...July 4 was no exception. We would gather our lawn chairs in the neighborhood and dispaly fireworks. Billy was the one with the cigar to light the spectacular displays. Our family and friends  would all laugh and be ourselves. We also had picnics and swimming on the Maple Hill Farm in Naugatuck. Times were good...or Life was good. Billy's disappearance on August  24, 2004 changed everything.

We have a new norm now but we need to remember the people on earth who love us, they need to know that their existance means something please don't let the loss of a loved one consume and turn you back on the others.

There is a time and a place while the family, kids, or grandkids are around forget for time being and  concentrate affections their way. I learned it the hard way when I was on the computer, my grand daughter asked me to watch a movie with her..I said "be right there honey" I never went but continued my computer work searching for Billy.

My daughter Paula slapped me into reality when she said we all miss Billy but we want Gaby (my nick name) back, we all love you don't push us away.

I thanked her and from now on computer and cell phone is off when they are with me, they are my priority.

Moral of this memories are a treasure we will always cherish but always remember the ones with you who love, need never forget their love and attention. Try and do something different make more memories with the person/s in your presnt life..also your loved one may not be near in body but always in spirit.

Have a pleasant weekend, be safe, an always have hope, Love & Peace, Jan

 

 

First I want to thank you all for being there to help me & all of us through thiss weekend. Secondly I would like to share my memories of when I was little with my Papa. We all used to live in the Denver area & would go to the fireworks at Lakeside Amusement Park. We used to love to go there to see all the cool fireworks & eat ourselves silly. Hotdogs & hamburgers galore.

Thank you for helping me to also remember that I have other family members that love & need me.

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