LIFE WITH A MISSING LOVED ONE

[Sara Huizenga]

PLEASE SHARE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE AS WELL HERE! WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE IGNORANCE WILL PREVAIL...

Article below is by Sarah Teague, I'm just re-posting it for her here with her permission...

If you feel compelled to "enlighten" the ignorance that many have concerning those with missing loved ones, please, please, please share...thanks...xoxoxo

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I tried to sleep and just kept thinking of how it is urgent that we do
tell the truth about our life and our search for the one that has been
taken from us. It's a harsh reality to say the least.

August 26, 1995, we were told that Heather had been dragged into the
woods by her hair and at gunpoint by a man with dark bushy hair and a
beard. The theories began...Heather was fed to the hogs. Heather was
sold. Heather had been raped and weighted down and thrown into the
river. Heather was put into an oil tank.

'96: The widow of the only suspect pled the fifth at the grand jury
hearing and KSP didn't question the artist or the eyewitness or the
brother-in-law. After seven months, KSP called me and Heather's dad in
to give our blood. They had found two spots of blood on the passenger
window. What happened to the evidence FBI collected adn gave to KSP?

'97: Found out that the only suspect that we were told had killed
himself, didn't have any hair at all on the day of the abduction. The
sketch is identical to the dead man's driver's license photo down to
an underbite and a shadow on the side of his face. Someone else was
involved I pleaded from Henderson to Frankfort carrying my laminated
sketch all over the place.

'98: The brother-in-law was overheard saying that Heather was
accidentally ran over. we were promised an arrest would be made. I
confronted him, peed my pants when he ran at me. KSP did NOTHING. Took
a petition against the prosecuting attorney to present evidence to the
grand jury. Not even the uncle was questioned.

99: The artist that did the composite drawing of the man with the
dark, bushy hair and the beard came to me and told me that he had
found Heather on a film on the internet. He told me that Heather had
been killed on a snuff film on rapez.com site. He said he had #3 and I
didn't want to see #23. KSP did nothing.

2000: I taped the eyewitness' conversations and learned that he kept
changing his story. I learned he is a millionaire with businesses in
South America. I tried to go back to school. Made the deans list one
semester and had to drop out the next semester.

2001: Pleaded with KSP to search the property of the only suspect and
to question the artist and the eyewitness.

2002: Continued to write to Sec. of Justice, Commissioner of KSP,
requesting many open records. Wondering how the uncle could have sat
with his nephew for so many hours and not have asked about Heather.
Wondering why KSP didn't try to negotiate with suspect, who was a
felon, with a handgun, for any information on Heather. They kept
telling me that the suspect 'took his secrets to his grave'. Of that I
am most certain.

2003: Continued to try to get the property searched.

2004: Chris Below became a person of interest. The sketch IS Chris Below.

2005: FBI came to my home to tell me that the evidence that they had
collected in'95 and gave to KSP was just found in the evidence room.
My DNA was taken, I was told to get an attorney and a lawsuit against
KSP was suggested.

2006: FBI taken off case after taped conversations I had made with the
eyewitness was turned into KSP.

2007: Worked with attorney until he found out that there may be a
connection between 'some important people' and the death of a man in
the back of a trooper's car in '98. This trooper now being the det in
charge of Heather's case. I taped him telling me' I had better not
call frankfort and get him thrown off Heather's case, that he wouldn't
stand for that.

2008: KSP called us in to tell us Heather's hair had been found in the
suspect's vehicle. KSP wouldn't search the property still. I drew up
my own search warrant and a special judge was appointed to read it.
His first words to KSP was...'something is very wrong here'.

2009: Waiting to hear about a deal being made with the brother-in-law
for his information about Heather's whereabouts. He was in a wreck
that killed two people and he was under the influence. The same
prosecuting attorney now wants him to only serve 20% of his time for
Heather. I have gained 40lbs, haven't been able to work since Nov.,
have no car. Still believing in miracles.

And I haven't even touched on the 'climbing up the oil tank' looking down
for Heather's body to be floating because oil preserves a body. One
look at this picture from the rape site and the stories the artist
told me to go with the picture would make most people 'lose it'.

This is my job and I won't stop until I know. What I do know is this:
What 'they' have told me happened August 26, 1995, while KSP was there
pulling a truck from the mud, is not what happened at all.

This is just a glimpse into my world of searching for Heather. All we
want is the truth. Every what-if becomes a picture in a mother's
heart. The day that Heather was taken away, every word in my
vocabulary had a new meaning.

I hope this helps in some way to open the eyes and the hearts of the
people that dare to write articles on something they have no clue
about.

Sarah Teague

[Jan Smolinski]

Dear friend Sarah, I hear you loud and clear. If only people would open their eyes to the fact this is serious and our lives stopped the day our children disappeared. No time to grief we had to become detectives our selves and you longer than me. There are no band aids we want our children home and justice served.

Sarah you have the strength and the Faith keep on going. You will get your answers because I know you will not stop until you do. Writng down thoughts do help but if only the investigations were done right at the beginning this living hell with a lot of families may not be taking place. My heart is with you. xxoo
Always Hope,
Jan

[John Quinn]

Dear Sarah..My heart goes out to you and now my prayers will also.I just don't understand LE's relucdance to do their job,even if it did envolve a wealthy person.After KSP's botched up case,why did the FBI keep giving them edvidence and then be taken off the case.All these years wasted.I would also file a lawsuite against KSP as the FBI suggested. GOD BLESS YOU !! "BIG HUGS...ALWAYS"..john

[judy]

that is so sad and hurts my heart, not to know. i don,t know how i would handle that my prayers are with you ,

[Christine Crandle]

Sarah,

I am so sorry for your pain and anguish. It sounds like it has been a long, incredibly frustrating fight....I want to encourage you to continue. Don't give up! I'd like to share a verse that has become my "marching orders" since losing my dear friend, Renee Pagel, to murder. It is Proverbs 31:8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."

HUGS and Prayers,

Chris Crandle
www.whokilledrenee.com

[Alice Mountcastle]

Sarah,
I am so inspired you. We met I think last year. My brother Walter Smith, Jr-aka TOM SMITH, Flat Rock, IN. He also is still missing and of course our family is still getting the run around. But I have learned alot from you and others. I know how to give my brother a voice. I haven't stopped and won't. I don't allow the LE to set my brothers file down. As soon as they do I go to other means to make them pick it back up and do their job. We are getting closer I think. But like you and everyone else--We need so desperately for our loved ones to be found. I believe in my heart and soul that all our loved ones will be found. With all of our faith, hope, love and support for each other and by the grace of GOD we will all be able to keep going.
love and prayers to you
alice(mcginnis) mountcastle

[Maureen Reintjes-Peace4 Admin]

I posted the following on another blog ... but after reading Alice's comment on here I thought I'd bring it over here. Not only would a book help educate people on what the families go through it could also help the other families of the missing in their searches give them new ideas, tip & tricks on how to handle LE, etc.:

The psychological problems that Families of Missing Persons may encounter.

http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/the-psychological-prob...

Comment by Maureen 11 hours ago

Good job Sarah T. and Jan. We need to compile our thoughts and our stories into a book. That is the only way we can educate the public, the mental health community, law enforcement and the justice system on just what it is we are going through or have gone through. A book like that would clue everyone else into what we've experienced.

Just looking at the comments made on the maliciously missing by the public, those that have never had a loved one missing, it has become clear to me just how clueless most are in what the families of the missing face. How clueless lawyers, judges and law enforcement are to what has happened to the families emotionally, legally, financially and YES, criminally.

I've seen sleuthers on these crime boards (I call hate boards) dismantle every aspect of families of the missing. In their eyes we aren't allowed to smile, we aren't allowed to get mad and shout, we aren't allowed to criticize media or law enforcement, we don't search hard enough and on and on....it's so bizarre. Maybe if they could read a book by all of us, just maybe they would be more understanding.

We need a book that is a fast read of our stories .... like a "Chicken Soup for the Soul®" book.

In fact if anyone is game for this start sending your stories to me and I'll compile them. Any money raised could go to 'to be determined' missing person organizations and search teams.

[e-mail]

Let me know what you think!

Maureen

[Bradley Olsen]

Maureen,

I would be up for the book idea.

Susan Olsen ( Mother of Bradley Olsen - 1/20/07)

[Maureen Reintjes-Peace4 Admin]

I say we go for it....how else can we enlighten everyone else if we keep what has happened to us quiet?

And, just by the very nature of how so many of us have reached out to each other the book will end on a very positive heartwarming note. Through the worse we've seen the best.

[Christina Venita Quinton]

Maureen i think it is an excellent idea! 

[Sara Huizenga]

Maureen, I love your idea here nearly more than Peace4's birthday itself...

Start a new blog, discussion, etc. and so on, boss us around, tell us what to do...but, please...let us know what to do to make this happen!

and thank you...xoxoxo

for being brilliant



Maureen said:

I posted the following on another blog ... but after reading Alice's comment on here I thought I'd bring it over here. Not only would a book help educate people on what the families go through it could also help the other families of the missing in their searches give them new ideas, tip & tricks on how to handle LE, etc.:

The psychological problems that Families of Missing Persons may encounter.

http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/the-psychological-prob...

Comment by Maureen 11 hours ago

Good job Sarah T. and Jan. We need to compile our thoughts and our stories into a book. That is the only way we can educate the public, the mental health community, law enforcement and the justice system on just what it is we are going through or have gone through. A book like that would clue everyone else into what we've experienced.

Just looking at the comments made on the maliciously missing by the public, those that have never had a loved one missing, it has become clear to me just how clueless most are in what the families of the missing face. How clueless lawyers, judges and law enforcement are to what has happened to the families emotionally, legally, financially and YES, criminally.

I've seen sleuthers on these crime boards (I call hate boards) dismantle every aspect of families of the missing. In their eyes we aren't allowed to smile, we aren't allowed to get mad and shout, we aren't allowed to criticize media or law enforcement, we don't search hard enough and on and on....it's so bizarre. Maybe if they could read a book by all of us, just maybe they would be more understanding.

We need a book that is a fast read of our stories .... like a "Chicken Soup for the Soul®" book.

In fact if anyone is game for this start sending your stories to me and I'll compile them. Any money raised could go to 'to be determined' missing person organizations and search teams.

[e-mail]

Let me know what you think!

Maureen

[Diana Weiss]

My name is Diana Weiss, and my sister Yvonne Belcher is also still missing: 12/2000.
No justice has been served for her either, and when we plead with LE to please continue on, we are told, we are and have been doing everything we can, and if I continue to bother them, they will pass the case on to the original county detectives who did nothing. I can't believe how, well.......I guess I can believe how people can be, especially people who do not understand the pain of having a missing loved one.
My mom and I tried to report my sister missing when she didn't show up for Christmas on the 24th, since that is when we celebrate it, NEVER NEVER had she missed a Christmas, she went missing on the 22nd. When we did try to report her missing, we were laughed at pretty much by the police, and told......give it a couple of days, she'll be back.
My sister had a very hard life, and was raped for a period of about 3 years, before the rapist tried to get to me, when she finally came forward to make sure it wouldn't happen to me.
She lost all respect for herself, and became very involved with drugs, at the time of her disappearance, she was on drugs, and so was her husband.
Back to trying to report her missing, our report was not taken that day, we came back about a week later, when they finally took the report.
Her husband was the last person to see her, but denies that fact. He went to the very first Memorial service we had, nothing after that. 3 months after my sister went missing, he had all her belongings moved to the shed, and another woman living with him. It's like he knew his wife was not coming back. All signs pointed to him, the police never considered him a suspect because he "cooperated".
Years went by, new detectives came and went, tried to put pieces together of a puzzle that never had all the pieces to begin with.
The detective working on her case now.........went to speak with her husband aprox: 3 years ago, at which point we were told that they tried some reverse psychology and told him that they needed him to come in to make a statement, because they knew what happened. The next morning, he was found dead on his couch of an overdose of pain killers. His death was stated to be an accident, but my family knows that it was not.
Still to this day, we know nothing. We don't know what happened to her, and the one person with those answers is no longer alive. Now, with that said, police have went back to "review", and stated they now believe it was her husband, but with the "suspect" deceased, their priority for solving my sister's case is just as cold as her case itself.
So, with all that said.............Sarah Teague, I know what you are going through, and it never gets easier, NEVER.
How do you go with your life, when someone you love has vanished, and when you look around.......all you see is how everyone and everything around you treats it as if she never existed in the first place.
My prayers are with you and your family.

Diana Weiss

[Findmywayhome]

Sarah I sent you a friend request. I know of some activity in KY and wondering if we are chasing the same demons and might be able to compare notes. Would like to email privately.

Thanks
Findmywayhome