News of a body found a heart-stopping feeling for families
Daily Gazette articleSaturday, October 31, 2009
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News of a body found a heart-stopping feeling for families
By Steven CookWhen loved ones go missing
CAPITAL REGION — Watching her local news Thursday night, Andrea Wakefield’s heart stopped.
Bones found in Saratoga County were not that of a child, they were of someone older.
Wakefield’s sister Lutrica Steele was 27 when she disappeared in Schenectady last year. The thought flashed across Wakefield’s mind: Could the remains be her sister’s and police somehow didn’t notify her?
“It took them a while to say her name and I started crying, thinking it was Lutrica,” Wakefield, who lives near Utica, said Friday. The report covered the identification of the remains as Colorado native Jennifer Hammond.
“Then they said [Hammond’s] name and I just started crying even more.”
This week’s find gave closure for one family, a family who waited six long years for the answer of what happened to their daughter.
Still, for families of other missing persons, like Steele and Suzanne Lyall, the 19-year-old UAlbany student who disappeared in 1998, the uncertainty lives on.
Hammond’s remains were discovered Monday when a hunter spotted a skull while walking on a logging road just inside the Adirondack Park. The remains were originally thought to be someone age 10 to 12.
The ensuing police search uncovered three teeth. That discovery led to a quick identification, and a quick end to the speculation as to the identity.
It’s speculation like that the Lyall family, of Milton, knows all too well.
“All of a sudden, your pulse goes up, breathing quickens. It’s just kind of an automatic response,” Doug Lyall said Friday. “It’s an involuntary response, actually.”
Over the 11 years since Suzanne’s disappearance, the Lyalls have not grown used to the feeling, but they have grown to guard and protect themselves, trying to be a little more centered and “not go off the deep end.”
Early on in their ordeal, Doug Lyall said they weren’t sure how to deal with their emotions. They didn’t know who to contact or talk to.
As time passed, they started connecting with families who had already been through it. The Lyalls also co-founded the Center for HOPE (Healing Our Painful Emotions), which offers support and help to those who are struggling with such a tragedy. The center is on the Web at Hope4theMissing.org.
The Lyalls even created a brochure giving suggestions to families when loved ones go missing, available on the Web site.
“There’s a lot of strength gained by asking for and seeking help and support from others,” Doug Lyall said.
shocking numbers
Nationwide, an estimated 4,400 unidentified remains are found every year, according to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, or NamUs. At any given time, there are as many as 100,000 missing persons cases.
“It’s just terrible,” said Todd Matthews, of NamUs. “I don’t think people realize how bad this is. It’s so widespread that people don’t see it. It’s a mass disaster in slow motion. It really is.”
For families waiting to find out about their loved ones, they must use their energy effectively.
The people who deal with it the best are those who remain active and positive, Matthews said.
Like the Lyalls, he suggested networking with others in the same situation. He also suggested focusing efforts on making the case file as rich as possible, providing as many details as possible.
The NamUs Web site, FindtheMissing.org, has more than 2,100 listings, which can be updated by family members. Law enforcement can also use the site, viewing information not available to the general public.
But, Matthews said, “you have to be realistic and not try to put false hopes in your own mind.”
Waiting 17 months
For Wakefield, the search for her sister has reached 17 months.
Lutrica Steele, a mother of four, was last seen May 1, 2008, when she told her mother on Webster Street in Mont Pleasant she’d be back for her children and for a barbecue later that day.
But she never returned.
Steele, also known as Lutrica Zasa and Lutrica Zasa-Steele, is described as a white female, five feet six inches tall, 125 pounds, with light brown hair and blue eyes.
Now, every time Wakefield hears of remains found somewhere, she has the awful thought that they could be Lutrica’s.
Last month, she heard of remains found in Cattaraugus County in western New York and contacted officials. Those remains, believed to be up to five years old, were found Sept. 26 on the shore of the Allegheny Reservoir in the town of South Valley. They are awaiting DNA tests.
“It’s very horrible,” Wakefield said. “It’s not that I want to find her body, I want to find her alive.
“But if something happened to her, I’d like some closure.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.dailygazette.com/
See HTML Version of article
News of a body found a heart-stopping feeling for families
By Steven CookWhen loved ones go missing
CAPITAL REGION — Watching her local news Thursday night, Andrea Wakefield’s heart stopped.
Bones found in Saratoga County were not that of a child, they were of someone older.
Wakefield’s sister Lutrica Steele was 27 when she disappeared in Schenectady last year. The thought flashed across Wakefield’s mind: Could the remains be her sister’s and police somehow didn’t notify her?
“It took them a while to say her name and I started crying, thinking it was Lutrica,” Wakefield, who lives near Utica, said Friday. The report covered the identification of the remains as Colorado native Jennifer Hammond.
“Then they said [Hammond’s] name and I just started crying even more.”
This week’s find gave closure for one family, a family who waited six long years for the answer of what happened to their daughter.
Still, for families of other missing persons, like Steele and Suzanne Lyall, the 19-year-old UAlbany student who disappeared in 1998, the uncertainty lives on.
Hammond’s remains were discovered Monday when a hunter spotted a skull while walking on a logging road just inside the Adirondack Park. The remains were originally thought to be someone age 10 to 12.
The ensuing police search uncovered three teeth. That discovery led to a quick identification, and a quick end to the speculation as to the identity.
It’s speculation like that the Lyall family, of Milton, knows all too well.
“All of a sudden, your pulse goes up, breathing quickens. It’s just kind of an automatic response,” Doug Lyall said Friday. “It’s an involuntary response, actually.”
Over the 11 years since Suzanne’s disappearance, the Lyalls have not grown used to the feeling, but they have grown to guard and protect themselves, trying to be a little more centered and “not go off the deep end.”
Early on in their ordeal, Doug Lyall said they weren’t sure how to deal with their emotions. They didn’t know who to contact or talk to.
As time passed, they started connecting with families who had already been through it. The Lyalls also co-founded the Center for HOPE (Healing Our Painful Emotions), which offers support and help to those who are struggling with such a tragedy. The center is on the Web at Hope4theMissing.org.
The Lyalls even created a brochure giving suggestions to families when loved ones go missing, available on the Web site.
“There’s a lot of strength gained by asking for and seeking help and support from others,” Doug Lyall said.
shocking numbers
Nationwide, an estimated 4,400 unidentified remains are found every year, according to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, or NamUs. At any given time, there are as many as 100,000 missing persons cases.
“It’s just terrible,” said Todd Matthews, of NamUs. “I don’t think people realize how bad this is. It’s so widespread that people don’t see it. It’s a mass disaster in slow motion. It really is.”
For families waiting to find out about their loved ones, they must use their energy effectively.
The people who deal with it the best are those who remain active and positive, Matthews said.
Like the Lyalls, he suggested networking with others in the same situation. He also suggested focusing efforts on making the case file as rich as possible, providing as many details as possible.
The NamUs Web site, FindtheMissing.org, has more than 2,100 listings, which can be updated by family members. Law enforcement can also use the site, viewing information not available to the general public.
But, Matthews said, “you have to be realistic and not try to put false hopes in your own mind.”
Waiting 17 months
For Wakefield, the search for her sister has reached 17 months.
Lutrica Steele, a mother of four, was last seen May 1, 2008, when she told her mother on Webster Street in Mont Pleasant she’d be back for her children and for a barbecue later that day.
But she never returned.
Steele, also known as Lutrica Zasa and Lutrica Zasa-Steele, is described as a white female, five feet six inches tall, 125 pounds, with light brown hair and blue eyes.
Now, every time Wakefield hears of remains found somewhere, she has the awful thought that they could be Lutrica’s.
Last month, she heard of remains found in Cattaraugus County in western New York and contacted officials. Those remains, believed to be up to five years old, were found Sept. 26 on the shore of the Allegheny Reservoir in the town of South Valley. They are awaiting DNA tests.
“It’s very horrible,” Wakefield said. “It’s not that I want to find her body, I want to find her alive.
“But if something happened to her, I’d like some closure.”
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on -
Good article....thanks Todd for sharing it and thanks for your understanding of what the families go through.
Maureen
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Permalink Reply by Sara/Peace4 Co-Founder on -
NamUs.gov
Awesome writing...incredible and vital resource...to every single loved one of the missing, please utilize and spread the word!
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Permalink Reply by Lourdes Pagan on -
Closure is very important, especially for tose who are waiting for years. Please for those waiting remain STRONG AND STEADFAST. It is through YOUR COURAGE AND THE COURAGE OF YOUR LOVE ONES THAT GIVE THE REST OF US HOPE, and allows us to FULLFILL OUR MISSION. I will continue to pray for those who are still waiting in the hopes that your LOVES ONES COME HOME. PLEASE REMAIN STRONG
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on
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I wrote to the reporter and thanked him. It's so important to let these writers hear "job well done" from us so they will hopefully continue to bring awareness to the missing and their families.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Teague on -
Hearing that remains have been found or a body when someone you love is missing, takes your heart and your mind to a place that there really aren't any words to adequatley describe. Even after years and years of not knowing, when 'a body' is found, of course, I wonder if Heather has been found. And my worst fear is that she has been alive for all of these years and we didn't find her. People assume that when someone has been missing for years that there is no way they could still be alive. Hopefully, Jaycee Dugard's homecoming will help 'the knowing world' to grasp what we, in 'the not knowing world' feel.
I remember in 1998, after Heather had been gone for only three years, a finger had been found in a jar. I got a call from the coroner in Owensboro, KY. saying that Heather's DNA was not on file. Fingers in a jar! Oh, the thoughts and the fears and the 'what-if's' one goes through when news like that is handed to you. It gave me a chance to call the proper authorities and make sure that Heather's dental records were where they should be. And a family should not ever have to even think twice about DNA being on file. NamUs wasn't available until 2007.
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Teague on
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I ran out of room on the other reply.
Yes, news of human remains found does make 'us' stop and wonder who is being brought home! After not knowing where someone you love is for so long; and being connected with other families that are waiting for their truth day, when remains are found, we are flooded by many emotions. We know there is a family that will finally be honored to say good-bye. We know there is a family that will no longer wonder if the one they love is hungry or afraid or in pain...
Oh, this 'not knowing world' is a world of such pain and agony...and yet, such hope and faith! We are connected by a broken heart..and that is powerful! We have hope because of people like Todd Matthews that devotes time and energy to make sure our 'not knowing world' continues to hope. 'When hearts break with ours...the walls of injustice will fall down!' It is an amazing gift for people that have not experienced the kind of devastation 'we' have to reach out to 'us'. And...one by one...just yesterday, one of 'ours' is home!
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on
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Sarah T....thank you. You always express what so many of us feel that are or have gone through this. And, you are so right when you said "And a family should not ever have to even think twice about DNA being on file." So very true.
The world just doesn't understand the crushing emotional impact on the families a body found can bring. It's our collective voices that will bring change. We can't expect the public, politicians, law enforcement, media ... the world to know what this world of the missing is like if we keep quiet and don't share our stories.
Thanks Sarah T. for always sharing.
Maureen
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Permalink Reply by Findmywayhome on -
I am praying that the changes in missing persons will create enough urgency that searches will be done and remains found so much sooner! We need to get LE and missing families working together to make a true impact. Still fighting LE here to go on the property to find the bodies that are buried there. This is just something to state how LE has no understanding of the families need for closure and answers even after all the years that pass. Such a struggle... So much prayer is needed to bridge these gaps... This writer is helping bridge that gap... Maureen great idea for telling the author great job I will attempt to do the same thing.
Sarah T so well spoken from a heart hurting from the experience!
Love you guys!
FINDMYWAYHOME
AND BRING OTHERS HOME ALONG THE WAY....
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Permalink Reply by Maureen on
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The writer, Steven Cook, can be accessed at this link:
http://www.dailygazette.com/staff/steven-cook/contact/
Oh and we love you too FindMyWayHome!!!!! :)
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Permalink Reply by mary,gainey on
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my prayers go out to the hammond, family ,i gald you can put her to rest in peace she ,can sleep to night her body is home,, mary
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Permalink Reply by jerdonna on -
Im sorry about there loss, but im glad that there ,was one closure for one family.....Todd you are so right about how slow it is to find are loved ones my mother has been gone since,ive been 2years old, and sometimes i feel like im getting to my closure then it becomes its not my mother its some one elses and its really heart renching for me and millions of others hopeing and praying for that day to come!!!! But i tell others never give up hope.....Thanks...
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Permalink Reply by Marcia Duning on
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19 Year-old LaQuanta Riley was last seen by relatives in Montgomery, Alabama on December 7, 2003, at approximately 11:30pm. She was getting into a green car, which may be either a Taurus or Caprice.
She was wearing a yellow and green Ecko shirt...
I will call, and respond here, probably tomorrow.
Hi, my life was touched by Melissa Alaniz, a beautiful young girl that is missing and presumed killed during the El Paso Desert Murders in 1987. David Leonard Wood has been convicted of these murders, and sits on Death Row. There is a lot of contr...
For those forced to endure the devastation of having your family member or close loved one missing as well as those who desire to support them.
As Christians we are obligated to not only share concern but become involved in the welfare, safety, and health of our children missing or home.
This conference is also posted on Peace4 at the following link:
http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/missing-and-unidentified
Make sure you check there also to see any comments.
The draft of the Agenda is what sold me on this. That's an amazing agenda, an amazing group of presenters. Todd is even on there on page 3.
Thanks for bringing the information here, Maureen. It looks like an informative experience for every one.
That I don't know...that would be great if they will be as I probably won't be able to come up with the money to go to Wisconsin. This really sounds like a conference that shouldn't be missed by anyone. You might try calling that contact person Ba...
Maureen
Can't go to Wisconsin, but do you know if conference papers will be available for download??
Thanks...Doc
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