News of a body found a heart-stopping feeling for families

[Todd Matthews]

Daily Gazette articleSaturday, October 31, 2009

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News of a body found a heart-stopping feeling for families

By Steven CookWhen loved ones go missing
CAPITAL REGION — Watching her local news Thursday night, Andrea Wakefield’s heart stopped.

Bones found in Saratoga County were not that of a child, they were of someone older.

Wakefield’s sister Lutrica Steele was 27 when she disappeared in Schenectady last year. The thought flashed across Wakefield’s mind: Could the remains be her sister’s and police somehow didn’t notify her?

“It took them a while to say her name and I started crying, thinking it was Lutrica,” Wakefield, who lives near Utica, said Friday. The report covered the identification of the remains as Colorado native Jennifer Hammond.

“Then they said [Hammond’s] name and I just started crying even more.”

This week’s find gave closure for one family, a family who waited six long years for the answer of what happened to their daughter.

Still, for families of other missing persons, like Steele and Suzanne Lyall, the 19-year-old UAlbany student who disappeared in 1998, the uncertainty lives on.

Hammond’s remains were discovered Monday when a hunter spotted a skull while walking on a logging road just inside the Adirondack Park. The remains were originally thought to be someone age 10 to 12.

The ensuing police search uncovered three teeth. That discovery led to a quick identification, and a quick end to the speculation as to the identity.

It’s speculation like that the Lyall family, of Milton, knows all too well.

“All of a sudden, your pulse goes up, breathing quickens. It’s just kind of an automatic response,” Doug Lyall said Friday. “It’s an involuntary response, actually.”

Over the 11 years since Suzanne’s disappearance, the Lyalls have not grown used to the feeling, but they have grown to guard and protect themselves, trying to be a little more centered and “not go off the deep end.”

Early on in their ordeal, Doug Lyall said they weren’t sure how to deal with their emotions. They didn’t know who to contact or talk to.

As time passed, they started connecting with families who had already been through it. The Lyalls also co-founded the Center for HOPE (Healing Our Painful Emotions), which offers support and help to those who are struggling with such a tragedy. The center is on the Web at Hope4theMissing.org.

The Lyalls even created a brochure giving suggestions to families when loved ones go missing, available on the Web site.

“There’s a lot of strength gained by asking for and seeking help and support from others,” Doug Lyall said.

shocking numbers

Nationwide, an estimated 4,400 unidentified remains are found every year, according to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, or NamUs. At any given time, there are as many as 100,000 missing persons cases.

“It’s just terrible,” said Todd Matthews, of NamUs. “I don’t think people realize how bad this is. It’s so widespread that people don’t see it. It’s a mass disaster in slow motion. It really is.”

For families waiting to find out about their loved ones, they must use their energy effectively.

The people who deal with it the best are those who remain active and positive, Matthews said.

Like the Lyalls, he suggested networking with others in the same situation. He also suggested focusing efforts on making the case file as rich as possible, providing as many details as possible.

The NamUs Web site, FindtheMissing.org, has more than 2,100 listings, which can be updated by family members. Law enforcement can also use the site, viewing information not available to the general public.

But, Matthews said, “you have to be realistic and not try to put false hopes in your own mind.”

Waiting 17 months

For Wakefield, the search for her sister has reached 17 months.

Lutrica Steele, a mother of four, was last seen May 1, 2008, when she told her mother on Webster Street in Mont Pleasant she’d be back for her children and for a barbecue later that day.

But she never returned.

Steele, also known as Lutrica Zasa and Lutrica Zasa-Steele, is described as a white female, five feet six inches tall, 125 pounds, with light brown hair and blue eyes.

Now, every time Wakefield hears of remains found somewhere, she has the awful thought that they could be Lutrica’s.

Last month, she heard of remains found in Cattaraugus County in western New York and contacted officials. Those remains, believed to be up to five years old, were found Sept. 26 on the shore of the Allegheny Reservoir in the town of South Valley. They are awaiting DNA tests.

“It’s very horrible,” Wakefield said. “It’s not that I want to find her body, I want to find her alive.

“But if something happened to her, I’d like some closure.”

[Findmywayhome]

Thank Maureen! I emailed the writer. Mentioned Peace4 and thanked him for his words.

Ill be seeing you in NC right? lol

Onward and upward...

FINDMYWAYHOME

[Maureen]

Oh good I'm glad you wrote to that writer!

As far as going to NC it will be only if I can count enough pennies up. I sure would like to go though! And, I'm praying and hoping the courts in Bartlesville don't screw me once again next week or I won't have enough money to live on unless I go out and get a 3rd job. If they do screw me over I won't be able to go. :(

[Findmywayhome]

Well I sure hope those pennies add up fast! Blessing are due to come your way!

:o)