Today I have to say I am very sad..sad for a country for which we have become..I look at my son, think of all the injustices and mistakes made regarding his case..value of human life lost ..neglects within our system..I think of the commercial where the Indian looked at America with a tear in his eye..I too think of the Statue of Liberty with a tear in her eye.. I am a fighter for justice and will find my son, but today I have tears in my eyes..Can we stand for what we believe or has our nation reversed to the gun slinging days of the wild west?
 

Today is a weeble day, time to reflect on days passed, regroup, roll up my sleeves and fight for a better tomorrow. Any one who has a child, look at them, take a good look, you raise them to become a good citizen, to care about others, and believe in a higher power, a Faith, God who gave his parents on earth an opportunity and privilege to raise him. YES, raising a child is the the biggest and most rewarding job in the world, being a loving parent..then in a blink of an eye a life is taken..fear sets in when you can't find the person you have given life to and you sense danger. Immediately you turn to the people you thought hired to serve and protect... the words echo over and over in my brain "HE WILL BE BACK, GIVE HIM TIME" "No sir.. you don't understand this is not his behavior something is wrong "..all we received were ECHOES OF SILENCE .. seven years later, many, many hurtful mistakes made and at a point of no return.... mom, dad and a few good people, my human angels, help us investigate to this day. You are so appreciated! What does a parent do when we hear "if this case was investigated properly it would have been solved in a few days". Not only is Billy gone but an entire family ripped and shredded in the blink of an eye.

From most of the investigators all we hear is budget...sorry who is going to pay...sorry  our hands are tied..........   "But sir this is my son and  how many others is this happening to? It can't be!" Reality set in like running into a stone wall.

Lying out there somewhere in a place unknown is my child, murdered, hidden and if it wasn't for the parents who raised him his file would have been at the bottom of the pile never to be heard of again. The only way he would have been found is if forensics were collected and reports filed properly, then maybe one day possibly beyond our years the name Smolinski will pop up ! Yes, our system is lacking, lacking the education which we are so capable but does not exist to this day..only on television shows.

We are supposed to be a civilized nation, 2011 our authorities should have proper training, they should all have a degree, in correct DNA collection, Bone identification, (human or animal) reports done and filed properly such as NamUs, NCIC, dental, finger prints, tattoos or any identifiers of a human person. If properly completed then we as parents will always be living fear of the unknown when a loved one disappears but could rest a little easier knowing everything was done accurately with a much better chance to be brought home or be identified.
God only knows when my son will be found and all the other families who have the tragedy of not knowing.
DAMN IT! ... the hurts are many, we have a new norm, the people we once were no longer exists... tears of sorrow will fall but hope for a better tomorrow....... God knows...God bless America !

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Comment by Jan Smolinski on August 6, 2011 at 4:53am
I want to thank you all for your comments it  is nice to see others who understand and extend a hand of kindness. There are many in this country whose loves have been completely torn  apart through no fault of their own.
Sara, you have expressed it well...what can we do..we need to speak up. Writing is a form of therapy and it lets others know they  are not walking alone.
We are all fighters if we stick together to help make a difference I do believe with the help of our Lord He is leading the way. Hug, hope, determination, love and Faith always,  Jan
Comment by Sara Burgoyne on August 5, 2011 at 8:55pm

Dear Janice,My heart broke as I read this & I could feel your pain of a brokenhearted Mother & a a parent disgusted with all the wrongs that were done by all involved with looking for Billy &yes their excuses were pathetic!!!!

America can send billions of dollars to other countries but they use the excuse there is no money for funding the missing or properly train a special department just to deal with a the missing....this is unexscusable!!

The Indian has every right to have a tear coming down his face as does the Statue of Liberty because this beautiful place that God gave us the goverment has managed to ruin it & God looks does & cries...wondering ...WHY?

Why did this happen ? GREED!! POWER!!!! MONEY!!! All the root of all evil!!!

Our justice system fails to help or protect us....convicts are treated better than most Americans..

We don't pay our teachers what they deserve so the education system is failing our youth.

Television teaches our children that violence is a way of life.

Sports figures who our youth are suppose to look up to are having affairs..stealing..

The only chance we have is to continue to teach our kids & anyone who will listen that we have to take America back & show then what moral values are & where to put their time in to help accomplish this.

Janice please do not give up  because good always over comes evil & we might not live to see it but our grandkids will get America bk on it's feet..with all the pride we once had & with GOD WE TRUST & CHRISTIANITY BK & PRAYERS IN SCHOOLS & THE PLEDGE OF ALLIGENCE BACK!!

Please know that all your Angels will continue to fight with you to find Billy!!!

Not a day goes by that I don't tell someone about him & your story.

In fact if u do not mind I would like to send this letter to a few of my state reps & Governor.

Your story needs to be heard by more media ....have you thought about writing a book getting the truth out there so no parent or family ever has to go through what you have all because of MISTAKES!!!

Please keep your faith up..we will find Billy!!! Huggggggggggggs Sara

 

Comment by Vivian Middleton on July 28, 2011 at 8:17am
Jan, I have shared this on my FB wall with a message to ALL PARENTS! I have no words to comfort you the way you need to be comforted. I have no answers that will bring you resolve. I am however, a MOTHER. I have had a loved one go missing and know the nightmare of dealing with LAW ENFORCEMENT. He was just 6yrs old and had NO WAY to fight for himself. Law Enforcement was of little assistance until his father and I began our own search. Fortunately we located him and called law enforcement to intervene and get him out of harms way. It affected him in so many ways. But, at least we got him back alive and Justice was served with the arrest and conviction of the individuals involved in his kidnapping. I will NEVER FORGET the overwhelming fear of what he was or could be going through. Nor will I forget the attitude and actions of LE. I will pray for you and for Billy. If we don't have faith, we don't have a pray, without a pray, we don't have a chance. I pray that Billy will one day be found and returned to you. For now, I pray that God is embracing Billy and has his cloak wrapped safely around him. NEVER GIVE UP. VIV
Comment by Doris Cole McGoogan on July 17, 2011 at 6:12pm
Jan, your article is so powerful, so touching. I am sorry about your Billy and the lack of help you've received.Please tell me what you need me to do and it will be done. I have been participating in the campaign contacting the media about the lack of attention to missing persons. I have also contacted members of Congress recently.

My goal, as an advocate for the missing, regardless of age, is to give them a voice. I am also actively working on missing promoting missing Gail Palmgren. Gail is a 44 year old mother of two. She is from Signal Mountain, TN. She was last seen on 4/30/11 dropping her children off. No one has seen Gail or located her distinctive, red Jeep Rubicon.

Please feel free to contact me. I'm here to help, in any way I can. Good Bless you.
Comment by Tracey Reitterer on July 16, 2011 at 8:52pm
*Hugs*  I think the media and politician email campaign was an excellent idea.  Because their inboxes fill so quickly, I believe we should extend it throughout the rest of the summer.  They will either get so tired of seeing the emails they will be forced to respond, or will be so moved by the issue, they will rise to the challange to help make changes.  Don't ever give up,  Jan.  You may not have asked to be put in this position, but your son is watching over you, guiding you every step of the way.  It's his spirit, working through yous, that will light the path to a better way of looking out for and guiding EVERYONE'S children back home in the future.  And that is something worth fighting for.  I'm here for you as well and support you 200%.  *Hugs*  Tracey
Comment by Sara Huizenga on July 13, 2011 at 6:58pm
It's time to be heard ... PUSH Billy's Law!!! Cosponsors needed!!!
Comment by Lynn Anne Cummings on July 13, 2011 at 5:16pm
My prayers will ALWAYS be with you and your family!!!  I have a lot of respect for you!!!  You are an angel for many.  You not only fight for Billy, but for many who can't speak.  Much love,  Lynn
Comment by Glenn Adams on July 12, 2011 at 9:41am

"Well said, Janice"

Wolfscratch

Comment by Bradley Olsen on July 11, 2011 at 11:00am

Jan,

 

Thank you for writting that.  So well said.  I will forward to all my Family & Friends.

 

Sue Olsen

Comment by Jennifer Harnett on July 10, 2011 at 11:59am
You put my thoughts to words wonderfully. I know my son is not still missing, but there are still unanswered questions due to poor police work. The pain just bears on you some days so hard that it is hard to breath. I hope your son is found soon and your pain eases some, not that it ever goes away, but sometimes just having it ease a little is the best we can hope for.

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