How will you get through the holiday's with loss in your life?

Its a wonderous thing life is. It's always changing and always evolving, yet in those times of change sometimes we cant move forward with life, life seems to stop us in our tracks.

I dont really remember what year it was that I decided life wasnt going to do that to me any more, but I decided that doing something with life was much better than doing nothing at all.

My parents had been my best friends and even though I had siblings we were not to awefully close as I was growing up, so they had also been my everything.

When they both passed away within 2 years of each other I thought to myself what am I going to do? Sometimes I remember just sitting in the bathtub totally numb and staring at the water as if it could tell me what to do next.

Inside I was a mess and outside I had to make those around me feel like I was just great. I was strong and I wasnt hurting, when deep down inside I was crushed. I felt sick and even though there were people all around me I felt empty.

Was this void in my soul, heart and spirit ever going to be filled? At that time I sure didnt think so, I remember talking to myself telling myself it would be okay and you will get over it. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible.

It became That time of the year! I can say I never really felt normal after that when the holidays would roll around. Quietly I would take a picture of my parents out and place it somewhere I thought was sacred and lit candles but not so anyone would know what for and I would talk to them daily. I would share my love for them outloud daily, and things began to change.

Now when there is something that I feel my mom or my dad may have liked or something we would chat about, I always include them in my thoughts and prayers to include them as my earthly mother and my earthly father and to speak to them when my heart needs to. I feel good and okay inside.

How do you celebrate the loss of your loved one or ones? How do you make it through the holidays? Sharing is a great way to make it through.

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Tags: Holidays, care, celebration, concern, expression, family, fear, friends, giving, greif, More…heart, holidays, hope, journey, joy, loss, loved, ones, pain, sharing


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Comment by Gwen Johnson on November 20, 2010 at 8:07pm
You inspire my sould Donald and Donna Ross. What lovely people you are. What lovely people all of you are. Patty I hope this year is the best ever for you and your family. Hugs to all.
Comment by Gwen Johnson on November 20, 2010 at 8:05pm
Sometimes I would find myself trying to recreate food my mother would make so it would smell like what she would cook...I know that sounds funny but it really helped in keeping her alive through sensory. :)
Comment by Jesse 'Opie' Ross on November 16, 2010 at 10:46pm
Went to Chicago Dec. of 2006, and walked thru the hotel where Jesse disappeared. The lobby contained a big Christmas tree and the hotel was full of families, jazzed for the holidays, no one thinking about Jesse or what had happened just weeks before. So if we have missing, they are our business. It's right these people gather and make happy memories, and we will join our friends and family and make our own new memories, while continuing our efforts to find our son.
Comment by Missing Person on November 16, 2010 at 5:50pm
Love love all your thoughts!!
(This is my phone login profile BTW ... random but anyway ... ;-)

Another thing we all LOVED was last Christmas (I posted this before too somewhere on peace4) my mom got us all really nice leather Bibles and on the cover she had inscribed "See you in Heaven - Love Dad" ...
Comment by Gwen Johnson on November 16, 2010 at 4:50pm
So true Donald! We get by with a little help from our friends and families. What a Unique Idea Sara. I love it! I was thinking this year I would light a candle and and just do a special prayer for everyone.
Comment by Sara Huizenga on November 15, 2010 at 9:02pm
The Christmas before my Dad died (which was shortly after on January 11) ... he and my Mom tried a new thing ... instead of the usual gifting .. they instead gave each grandchild a check to use to give to someone else, anyone else, completely their choice ... one nephew used it to pay for the groceries of what apeared to be a single mom in front of him in line at the store .. my daughter, Anna waited to use the money until February 7th, which is my Mom birthday and used the money to give her a "birthday present from her Papa" ...

This is a great post, Gwennie!
(thank you, sweet friend ... xoxo)
Comment by Jesse 'Opie' Ross on November 15, 2010 at 9:02pm
I get by with the help of my friends. Couldn't do this alone.


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