Voice Platform and Support Network for Families of Missing and Victims of Crime
There is not a POMC chapter in the Nashville area. I cannot find a group that focuses on murdered loved ones. Although The Compassionate Friends is an awesome support group, we need something more dedicated to the topic, does not require political correctness about spiritual things, and has more events we can participate in. I agree that common, even spiritual, grief support does no good in our situation. We have tried them all and still feel lost in our grief.
You hit the nail on the head when you said there is no such thing as closure when a missing loved one is recovered, no matter the circumstances. I want to thow up when someone tells me "Well, at least now you have closure". Closure is physical, not mental or emotional. Excuse me, but I am human and as a human, the pain is real no matter how much time has lapsed since recovery. No one should have to go through what my grandson suffered and no family should have to endure the resulting grief and pain as long as they live. Much less the additional trauma of realizing there is a possibilty that what remains of him may still be out there somewhere.
With so many cracks in the laws and database management, there is no sure guarantee that, if remains are recovered whether or not for the first time, they will be identified and returned to the family. Especially if your LE agency is not compassionate and sensitive to your case.
Without strong spiritual beliefs and my beliefs in the truths of Biblical scriptures, I could not go on. Here is an example: 1 Thes 4:
13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep.
16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.
17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.
18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.
When the Lord returns for us and we are "caught up (ascend) together with them" this means that no matter the location or condition of our remains, our soul will be restored to our original bodies (glorified bodies for eternity) and will contain our original DNA! Notice that the scripture promises that the dead in Christ will rise first. If we are alive at the time of His coming, we will meet our loved one in the air and ascend together. What a beautiful promise to think on.
This is the eternal hope we have in Jesus yet, while these Words are comforting, satan takes a back seat in your mind and brings up hurtful things. Even though I know satan is defeated, he is very real in the present for someone who is vulnerable in their grief. But Jesus is real, comforting and calming and takes a front seat in my mind and heart. There are so many alternative ways to think, but it takes time getting there when your loss is so great. But it helps til you do.
I'll stop rambling for now. Any advice or perspective you have that may help a grieving, confused grandma would certainly be welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for the opportunity to share my heart and hurts with you. God bless you all!